What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i dont even know how to be here
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
