sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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