from now on my penis is your penis
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i've created a new STD.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
