Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
