id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
