she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
