Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so let's talk penis.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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