I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
