Porn is love you can see.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
