Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
