Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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