I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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