She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
