thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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