I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
