Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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