what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
