He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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