im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
