Nicole vs. Life
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
