marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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