Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
