I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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