i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
