...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
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she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
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All is fair in love and war and toga parties
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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