I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
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I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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