But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
