Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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