i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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