This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
