Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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