I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
