mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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