Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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