she was so not down for the gang bang
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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