I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
