So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
