just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
