I'm jealous of your bromance
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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