i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's blow job season.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.