Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...