ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome