i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.