well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says