Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
