Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
