I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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