How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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