He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
