He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
