Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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