Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
