I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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