Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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