Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
