Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize