i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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