You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize