I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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