In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
