When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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