Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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