kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
