Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize