Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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