you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
